Yesterday I went onto Twitter having been off it for a couple of weeks.
The usual hate filled my screen. The usual opinions filled my screen.
Twitter is toxic. Needs to be brutally culled. I try not to scroll. It’s hard running a business without engaging with the tech.
Social media is a drug. However you cut it. It’s a drug, plain and simple.
It’s also fake. The authorities have concerns over fake news. How about fake lifestyles? Fake human existence?
Only the best foot forward. The 8% of the iceberg. The genuine human condition and struggle neatly kept off screen.
Only that cringe-worthy curated life of ‘be your best self’.
Some people don’t. They use it like a therapy session. That’s both sad, that they have no other way to get support other than from strangers.
And fucked up, in that distressed people won’t seek the help of a therapist.
Even if you have no money, there is a ton of mental health support out there. Sympathy vote chasing is not support. Period.
You just have to look. Support won’t turn up at your door.
Unless of course you psych out and assault your neighbour. Then initially it won’t be the nice kind of attention you were looking for.
I have been into the mental health underworld and back out again. Had the wrong kind of attention turn up at my door.
So its not like I don’t know these mental health spaces.
The difference. And I see this a lot in the recovery community. Is there are warriors and wimps when it comes to how a person handles mental health.
Warriors do their damndest to sort their shit out. They seek out the support. They do the programme (even if its in their own way). They sort themselves out. Even if it takes them years to get there. They keep turning up.
Falling off the wagon is par for the course. It’s going to happen. And that’s okay. Hopefully you’ll survive. Most do.
Wimps on the other hand, turn up moaning the whole time. They don’t work the programme. They play the perpetual victim.
If that was a drug addict, you’d leave them alone until they either hit rock bottom or died. Sadly before the penny dropped.
It’s a tough love approach. It’s also the most empowering approach.
The state wants you to be a perpetual victim. The do-gooders want you to be a perpetual victim. It makes them feel special. Notice I said them.
Yes, for do-gooders its all about them and how good charitable work makes them feel, than it is about you and your suffering. Whatever fiction they tell themselves.
The Circle is a space to share our success and our pain. This is the people’s space. Bottom up support. Not top down.
The Circle is a space for deep listening. We pay attention to the one sharing their struggle in the most honest and direct way they can.
Circle members are expected to:
DO. THE. WORK.
It is not a place for vomiting your perpetual victimhood.
If you are seen to be making the effort, you will be supported.
If you are seen to just be using the space for poor me sympathy votes, you will be challenged. In a loving way. But you won’t be let off the hook for playing victim.
Doing the work could be as simple as sitting under a tree and taking five mindful breathes. Then share in The Circle.
The practices are simple. We start with one thing. All you are asked to do is this one thing.
I know it’s hard to start. But all you are asked to do, is the equivalent of walking one step. That’s it. One fucking step.
Regardless of what your head might be telling you. You are, underneath all the shit, a deeply powerful person with a huge amount of resources.
Let’s face it. You’re here. You are alive. Right here. Right now. Congratulations for showing up.