The Abominable Alarm Clock

Some actions deserve the death sentence.

And Levi Hutchins is one man who needs to be at the front of the queue.

Inventor of the first known mechanical alarm clock in 1787. He has been responsible for countless disrupted lives and the destruction of people's mental health.

In 1847 a Frenchman named Antoine Redier was the first person to patent an adjustable alarm clock.

In an alternate universe, he's second in the queue.

Prior to Hutchins' and Redier's gross inventions. There were the Chinese. Those dusty, old Oriental statists who had an obsession with order and duty.

Yi Xing created a water powered astronomical clock around the year 725. It was affectionately named, 'Water-Driven Spherical Bird’s-Eye-View Map of the Heaven'.

Which sounds pretty cool, if it wasn't for the fact it was used to wake you up when your body did not want to be disturbed.

It's called restful sleep for a reason.

And an alarm clock is the antithesis of that blissful state.

Clocks are a weapon of the state. And by that fact, an abomination to freedom. Resist them by any means necessary.

You have an inbuilt guidance system. You don't need yet another piece of technological crap cluttering up your humanity.

The bastards even expect you to pay for this mechanical servitude.

But hold your horses. Nature has endowed you with your own biological, embodied rhythm.

Isn't it about time you started listening to it?

It was given to you at birth. It's called circadian rhythms.

And the state hates that you have it. Why?

Because it means you end up living your life by your own rhythm. Under your own inherent dynamic. Not theirs.

As the means to a sane life is to throw out the telly. The means to a restful, serene life is to smash the alarm clock and fire the boss.

All hail Liberty.